creel jerome: Fatal Attraction - Sexuality and Relationships

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Anonymous #1
	How do you get over love sickness? Damn, I have it bad. I can't eat and I can't sleep. I feel like the world is collapsing. I even went to see a shrink and a hypnotist. I've tried biting the bullet and after several weeks I always break down. The sex is AMAZING. I never thought it could be so crazy good. He is an intense lover. He also is an amazing conversationalist. We can talk for 5 hours like it's nothing. He's very exciting and takes me on adventures traveling. He has hurt me physically though, pretty severely. He plays strange mind games and is subtly (but powerfully) possessive and controlling. Everyone I know says to leave him but yet I continue. Now I'm seeing him secretly because I get hassled so much by my friends. I've asked around and done some research and after reading the statistics I doubt he can change. I can handle the abuse this far if it continues. However, the research I've done shows that this type of thing often escalates. Any tips? This question is for people who've gone through this or for those who know someone who's succeeded in breaking free. Please don't suggest I "just leave". I've tried again and again over the course of the year I've been with him. I always crawl back to his open arms before even two weeks are over. I haven't dated much and I'm very scared of this feeling. It's love and I think I'm going to die.
Rincewind Stranger Registered: 10/11/11 Posts: 30 Last seen: 8 hours, 28 minutes
	you are confusing love with hate, they activate very similar neurotransmitters in your brain that provokes a reaction that is as strong as love and very similar, but that is definitely hate you are feeling. Edited by Rincewind (03/11/12 08:09 PM)
Anonymous #1
	Wow, thanks Rincewind. That's really something for me to think about. I've tried considering the neurobiology of this thing, but I haven't come up with any theories. Still, the hate - if that's what it is - feels so fucking good.
Anonymous #1
	Again Rincewind, I think you could be right about this. A few months after we got intense he started mentioning that he'd like to fuck my sister (even though he'd never even seen her because she lives across the country). I thought he was being kinky and it turned me on, but something burned in my stomach. I guess that was part of the turn on.
Rincewind Stranger Registered: 10/11/11 Posts: 30 Last seen: 8 hours, 28 minutes
	sometimes we have to be stronger than what our brain makes us feel, because we are so much more and we deserve so much more
Mr. Bojangles Breathe In ? Registered: 04/08/08 Posts: 1,190 Loc: The Dirty Last seen: 4 hours, 52 minutes
	Hit up some CoDA meetings, look online for ones near your area.? I'm not one to be calling you codependent or anything, but a lot of people at those meetings have gone through something similar and they know how to help.? It's all about identifying and forming healthy relationships, fixing the ones you have (if you can), and how to sever the ties if you need to.? Just check out a few...nothing to lose but an hour of your time. http://www.coda.org/ajax_control.php?action=load_translation&language=1 -------------------- "It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." -Fracois Marie Voltaire
Anonymous #1
	Thank you Mr. Bojangles. I see there are some meetings in my area. It can't hurt. I've already spent a small fortune on psychiatrist, therapist and hypnotist. It surly can't hurt.
Anonymous #2
	OP, I'm sorry I have to be the tough love one, so I'm posting anon. You need to get the FUCK away from this lunatic, or you're a bigger fucking lunatic for staying. Have some self respect, jesus. This fucker is a fucking sociopath, and you're damaged goods. Get out
Dest ranger Stranger ? Registered: 06/15/09 Posts: 324 Last seen: 33 minutes, 16 seconds
	Get a gun.. a nice one that wont jam. go to the firing range and get a lot of practice. just because your a girl(im assuming) & in love doesn't mean you should be defenseless. -------------------- "For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know"-Leonard Nimoy